Huevos

After 100iu's daily of Follistim for the last 5 days, I am currently on cd8, with 4 follicles: 20mm,17mm, and 2 16mm's. Three on the left, and one on the right. Seems like the Follistim is doing her job. I've never had more than 2 (and that was only the one time) follicles large enough to be viable. Our new lovely RE is having us trigger tonight, with the IUI scheduled 36 post trigger. I'm going to be doing two at-home inseminations in addition to the IUI, probably 24 hours post trigger, although I'm not 100 percent on that. While it feels strange to be triggering on cd8, Doc says we should "listen to my body" and trigger. I agree. I don't need any more than 4 follies. Let's just hope one of them is good!

Nope.

Despite my love bullets, and some fairly convincing symptoms, IUI #5 is a bust. While I'm tempted to lay blame on something, I can't. On the books, it was a perfect cycle. Amazing timing, two large follicles, good sperm numbers... I even had a triphasic chart! So I'm left with the confusing reality of single lines, frustrated tears, and injectibles on the horizon. Fuck.

Love Bullets

Because I am entering the harder half of this cycle- the waiting, the hoping, the crazy-making progesterone, I am tempted to focus on those times in life that are bringing me joy. Hence, the love bullets. Here goes:

• Loving my new RE. She's straightforward, down to earth, clearly understood, and Chinese-American. Plus, her husband is from NOLA. 
• Loving work lately. B and I have a couple of new projects coming up, so keeping busy always helps. 
• Loving the dates my wife and I have been going on. Movies, nights away in fancy hotels, meals at amazing restaurants. We are lucky to be able to do this, and every time we do, our marriage is that much better for it.
• Loving all the pregnancies around me. While this one can be tricky, I am truly loving hearing about others' successes, both in real life and online.
• Loving San Francisco more these days. This has been an important one, as for the last couple of years this city has been getting me down (the tech yuppies, all the construction, and consequently, the congestion). Maybe I'm still working on this one, but a week in Maui and a day trip to Marin have helped me put things in perspective a bit. 
• Loving that I feel like the timing/numbers this cycle couldn't have been better. That makes me happy, and gives me hope.
• Lastly, of course loving my gorgeous girl. She is lately mastering the two-syllable words- "pineapple," "toothbrush," "backseat." So fun.

Alright! Here's to staying positive and focusing on the loves during this tww.