Numbers and Patience

Here are the facts:

- Today I am empirically 40 weeks pregnant, according to when I inseminated and ovulated back in October. My midwives at the hospital tell me I am 39w4d. Good for me- b/c I then have three additional days in which to go into labor naturally. Yippee. Letting my body do the job on its own is important to me lately. I truly do not want to be induced. My hospital induces at 41w4d, at which I will really be 42w.

- I am now 2 cm dilated, 50% effaced and soft, cervix in mid-position, with the baby at a -2 station. I understand that these numbers have very little correlation with how my labor may(not) progress, but I guess I am satisfied(?) to know at this point. I wish that the baby were lower, and am considering doing some jumping jacks to make it so.   I kid.

- I thought I broke my water last Sunday night- but with no progressive contractions, went to the hospital to get checked on Monday night, 24 hrs after my "water broke." Turns out it was crionic (sp?) fluid, the fluid outside the two amniotic membranes, and not amniotic fluid itself. Probably also I peed myself some, adding to the amount of fluid pouring out of my body. I was squatting on my living room floor, playing with my cat, and out it poured- just like in the movies ;) Was sent home after confirmation that the baby is looking "excellent" and I am having minor contractions.

- Mucus plug was lost that morning, but have read/been told that this also carries little/no indication as to when your labor will start.

- Lots of confusing/non-productive/painful Braxton-Hicks contractions. Whenever I get up, am walking or move significantly, my belly becomes a rock and I get dull or shooting cramps at various points in my abdomen. These contractions are completely erratic.

- Yesterday morning for an hour or so I had a lot of painful menstrual cramp-like pain, which came in "wave" feelings. These felt different, and productive. I laid in bed and thought "Maybe today, Libby. Maybe today." Then I got out of bed and those yummy contractions went goodbye, not to return.

- I am doing my best to take deep breaths, remain calm, and maintain a level of patience with myself, my body, and baby girl. Patience is not a talent that comes naturally to me, and (my lack of) has been a major detriment on many levels throughout my life. If there was ever a time to practice relaxation, self-love, mindfulness, patience and common sense, it is now. I will myself to chill out. I will make it so, even if it kills me.

This (early!) limbo feeling is not easy to deal with. I am thrilled at the idea of meeting this amazing baby girl who is currently moving her large limbs and butt around inside me.  I am actually excited at the idea of going into labor, and can't wait to birth her, bring her home, to parent her, love her, have Chefy and I love and raise her together. All these things are like never-ending field trips, summer vacations and recess all day long. Thrilling. What I am anxious about is getting to that point, making that chain of events a reality. I want to be there, soon. Anyone have any suggestions/stories/ideas about how to handle due-date-limbo (DDL)? Much obliged, I'm sure...