Change. Yes, again a change of plans for the Chefy/libberal household over here in the city (which is just beautiful today, btw.)
I've been postponing writing this post (ha!), as I've been going through some mixed emotions about what may transpire with the new direction our baby-making process is taking. But I digress.. please let me explain.
Last week Chefy decided to call the big sperm factory to see if they would release PooMan's donor details. Her ex was the one eight years ago who dealt with most of the deets of the donor. We weren't sure if the big bank would give us the donor with just the ex's name to use as a clue. But Lo and Behold, the sperm factory quickly confirmed the donor and gave us his number! We had absolutely no idea that it would be this easy, that the bank would just hand that information right over to us, even though Chefy's name was not on her ex's file. Weird!
So. That obviously is big news. Now not only do we know exactly who PooMan's donor is, but we (of cousrse for lots o' extra cash,) can have him tracked down, tested, and re-donoate! Yahhooooo!!! This is the good news.
The not so great part of this involves a lot of ifs. Bear with me here folks. First if is if donor can be located. Second if is if donor will want to donate. Third if is if donor passes all safety checks via the bank. Fourth if is if his sperm is still as swimmer-y as it was eight years ago. Fifth if is...wait. I'm getting ahead of myself. The other shitty part of this news which initially upset me because I am an incredibly impatient person and I wanted to get pregnant Yesterday is that if donor wants to re-donate, we will have to wait SIX MONTHS for his jizz to be quarantined. POOP! Six months sucks because it is four months longer than I wanted to wait. Boo.
So all that confounding information aside, my feelings regarding this change of events has left me feeling sad that I'l have to wait longer (maybe,) but completely excited that PooMan will possibly have a biological sibling. Chefy also brings up the very great point that we will have a bit more time to enjoy our married lives before bringing a baby into the picture, and I totally agree.
So right now I'm just sitting with a lot of ifs. I'm living in if land. The land of ifs. Ifville. And apparently I'm also losing my mind ;)
12 years ago
Wow, that sure complicates things! Just another thing to consider- when we were trying to use a known donor, it took him a LONG time to decide if he wanted to do it or not. It wasn't a pressing issue for him, so he felt free to take as much time as he needed. I don't know if the sperm bank will give this guy a deadline for when he needs to reply. He might take 2, 3 months deciding if he wants to donate again, and then a few more months making the arrangements for testing and everything else he needs to do in order to be given the green light to donate again. You could be waiting much longer than the 6 month quarantine period. I hate to bring up worst case scenarios but if this guy is difficult to contact, or takes his sweet time deciding, it could throw your timeline off even more. Just something to consider.
ReplyDeleteThat *is* a lot of ifs. And a lot of serious thinking to do. It does make you totally dependent on another person's decision, schedule, and biological makeup, for sure.
ReplyDeleteHave you gone on any of those websites where you can buy vials from people who bought them and didn't wind up using them? I think it's the sibling donor registry or some such website--there are these forums where you can say "Does anyone have any leftover vials of donor # 58439 from Particular Sperm Bank?" That might be worth a shot.
However it shakes out, best of luck!
Good suggestion, mamabao! Hmmmm...we have a lot of thinking to do around this. Still not sure where this is going. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the PP about the Donor Sibling Registry. You should check there first. You never know what you'll find. It's free to search the registry or join the Yahoo Groups but I think you are not a lot to solicit donor info over them. You should post and see if anyone reading has a membership already and they can contact potential families for you (if the donor is listed on the registry).
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, one step at a time. There are a lot of if's to overcome to get to the end goal. Since you have time before you planned on starting you should have a good idea of how long this will push out your plans. I'm VERY surprised the bank gave out that information to you. You're lucky!