The Good, The Bad, and The Scaringly Annoying

1 week after our bfp, and here's where we stand.

THE GOOD

• still pregnant, proved positive by the following;
• four positive tests
• no real period
• tatas as big as houses and as sore as a freshly bee-stung bum
• back ache
• crazy dizziness and fatigue. I've gotten entirely exhausted by walking four blocks and need to sit down at destination in order not to pass out. 
• peeing like mad, and feeling like I have to pee, even if I've just walked out of the bathroom

THE BAD

• mood swings galore (I've begged off mascara finally, as it just is getting ruined every day). I guess this could just go in above said category, but I needed something to put here.

And in a category of its VERY OWN......

THE SCARILY ANNOYING

• spotting, almost every day. It is pinkish in hue, and mostly keeps itself not in the undies, but only shows it's crappy face when wiping. It varies in amount, one time being a spot the size of a quarter, but mostly stays about dime size or smaller. It managed to go away mostly for two days and today has come back with a vengeance. I will be honest, its making me mad.

I've spoken to my OB, the midwife in the same office who is a friend, and my mother about the spotting, as well as doing hours of my own research both in books and online. I am fully aware that spotting is fairly common in early pregnancy and that it may mean nothing at all, but that it also may be an indication of miscarriage. None of it has been accompanied by severe cramps or pain, but even its presence is leaving me a bit of a wreck. My OB is the least helpful, saying that only time will tell, and we'll just have to wait and see. Gee, thanks. The midwife-friend is lovely, and she's given me good advice about using progesterone (not going to have much of an affect at this late in the game), and has encouraged me to do things that help me RELAX. My mother says I should just stop looking at the toilet paper, which I am starting to seriously consider. Each time I go to the bathroom (approx 20+ times a day), seeing those pink spots makes my heart stop a little each time.

Also necessary to note is that I am still very early along here, only 4w6d. While I don't think I could ever emotionally prepare myself for a miscarriage, I am aware of it's commonality, and not totally unrealistic about the premature state of my pregnancy. In order to cope so far, I have been resting a lot, trying to visualize a healthy embryo, distracting myself, and trying to stay positive. I know that whatever happens, I will be fine. Chefy will be fine, PooMan will be fine, we will all survive and carry on. Its this uncertainty of not knowing the outcome that is leaving me for a loop...

Can i ask those of you out there that have experienced this, what were the circumstances and how did you cope? I am thinking of going to get my hcg numbers, just to somewhat know either way (my first real prenatal appt isn't for 3 weeks). Have any of you had spotting in your first trimester? Just looking for some perspective here....